Most people think of this as a woman issue, but yes, it happens to men too. It has been reported to me by several men, and they've all pretty much said the same thing, "It's not that I'm not turned on; I am! I just can't seem to cum for a long time. Sometimes my partners think I am not into them."
So, dear readers, what are some of the reasons you think this happens to you? Does it happen often, hardly at all, or nearly every single time? Is there lack of sensation, lack of arousal, too much distraction, just the way you are? Does this ever make you feel uncomfortable, or has it bothered a partner? What, if anything, have you done to deal with being this way?
Remember all comments can be made anonymously if you do not wish for your identity to appear on the blog. I welcome all comments and suggestions. Please don't hesitate to chime in!
I commented on the fetlife link, but I thought I'd share here as well.
ReplyDeleteIt's a very frustrating problem for me and it was for my ex. Our sex life was great except when it came time for me to finish! She would often cum 2,3,4 times and I'd be rock hard trying to get off. She would finally say "just jerk off and put it back in when you're about to cum", I think it was an attempt to try and "retrain" my mind over this issue.
Maybe I was nervous about not pulling out, but it's been a problem in the past with other women too. Not always, but sometimes. Doc said it could be due to a hard trauma to my pelvic area when I was a kid - I find that unlikely. I tried to go without masturbating, but I was in a long distance relationship so that wasn't possible haha. But if I get back into a relationship I'll try to refrain from it as much as possible to see if it helps..
Good luck to anyone else out there facing similar issues!
I dealt with this problem, and sometimes still do. I can get myself off in no time, but when it comes to sex it's like I don't feel as much.. But yes, it's very frustrating for females, and may have been a contributing cause to my last breakup (even though she didn't say so). Sometimes it's from a few too many drinks, but most of the time there's no logical reason. My ex never wanted me to pull out, and it was very difficult to finish inside of her without getting 95% there with manual stimulation. Maybe I'm addicted to masturbating!
ReplyDeleteIt's not that I can't cum, I can & do if I masterbate but the problem is getting to that point for example, oral. I have received amazing bj's but a girl is yet to get me off w/o my assistance. When it's time to cum I have to jerk off to completition, girl sits waiting or helps by using her tongue but I have to give her the cue to wrap her lips at that point. I've never came by a girl making me cum on her own. Help is always needed. Sucks because some girls feel it's them & not me. When it come to vagina, I go and go, which is great but at the end, no use going on if u can complete, so it goes from awesome for the girl till the friction and pounding isn't that comfortable and u know it's bad when they start to ask or beg "Are u almost there?". You don't know how many times I faked an orgasm inside a girl just because I felt bad that I couldn't get off and didn't want to punish her any more. Again girls get self conscience & think why am I not cumming, thinking it's them & not me. My ex never got a grip because her ex husband was so quick and she thought I wasn't attracted to her because I took awhile. She made me hard & excited, just have a problem going quickly. She would break down crying at times. No matter how tight or good the BJ is, can't get off with out helping. Sucks.
ReplyDeleteI've also experienced this - for me it's a dysfunction called Delayed Ejaculation. I'm not sure how this happened to me, but it seems to be more common with people from strict religious backgrounds.
ReplyDeleteThis is an AMAZING dysfunction for casual sex. I can fuck for hours and most women swoon. The major problem is in actual relationships. It's hard to have a real intimate or physical connection when your partner can't finish without manual stimulation. This has been a major problem for me in my dating life.
I don't have a solution aside from waiting to meet someone who doesn't blame themselves.
There has also been some discussions about the state of being circumcised interrupting the nerve impulses and influencing things like cumming too soon or taking too long. Obviously, this is not the case 100% of the time, but I'd be very interested to know if there have been any studies that show if these conditions are more prominent in circumcised men.
ReplyDeleteBoth Male and female orgasms are caused by the levels of blood histamines being sufficent. The B vitamin folic acid and niacin can increase blood serum histamines there by making for easier orgasms .
ReplyDelete